I find when it sticks like that if you go back to the main menu it fixes it. If that doesn´t work rebooting the game usually does.
Yet Another Multiplayer problem
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Keep Clicking and refreshing and etc. etc. etc. etc. I usually need to start over my game and refresh for about three times before it comes up.
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1. was Elite up at the time you tried? 2. Is ASE using the correct port for Elite? 992 NOT 2302 if not it won´t show up in FL in LAN
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GAH... it fixed itself in the afternoon....maybe its just a problem for us Aussies down here