It happens to everyone at some point in their life, where you look around and think "Is it worth it ?". And the thing is, life IS worth living. Find something - a goal, a hobby you enjoy doing, a sport you like playing, etc - and keep that thought in your head whenever you feel down. It may not be immediatly apparent, but do enough digging and you´ll find it. Life will get better. There are bad times and good times, so stride through this dark patch and it´ll all be over in a while.
Truth comes crashing down...
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Family, your stuck with, but the girl? Be nice and kind. She may yet change her mind again. Women are know for that. Just give her a chance. Youthful luve can hurt, but it will heal. As to family, that is a little more difficult. Just try to work on a peacefull solution level and see what happenes. Good Luck.
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Dude, bad things happen. I´m not sure if you were hinting on this in your post, but suicide IS NOT the answer. Do you really want to throw your life away just because of this? I know it sucks right now, I have been in pretty much the same situation, but it really isn´t worth suicide. I have a friend, who about a year ago, he was very depressed and I thought he was going to commit suicide. He said "I know I won´t because I´m too much of a pussy and I´ve already punked out once." I was very concerned, but after we came back to school from fall break last year, I noticed he was dressed more like a goth. He is gothic, and for some reason he is a lot happier now. Now he rarely gets mad, except for our principal whom everyone hates. Now, suicide is caused by depression that we all go through at some point in our lives. You´re not the only one in your position. Some of the richest people in the world want to commit suicide, and for not a very good reason. I´m not telling you just to let all this stuff go, but it probibly won´t last for long. It´s definatly not worth throwing your life away over.
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You´ll get over it and look back in ten years time and realise how stupid you´re being. I know you can´t possibly feel that your emotions now are fake, but then no-one does. And that´s the truth for ya.
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Suicide or any similar escape from reality is cowardice. Honestly, every bloody teenager on the continent thinks like this or has thought like this once in their life. Some have it better, but I think most have it worse than you. You have enough to eat, right? You live in a first world country. You don´t have a terminal disease. Your family, though they may be giving you crap, don´t look at you with hatred, disgust and/or loathing and haven´t kicked you out of their house. The chances of you being cruelly murdered on the street are minimal. You´re not going to be persecuted or prosecuted for what you are. And you´re not horribly disfigured, are you? This isn´t to say that your situation is good. It probably feels pretty sh*tty. But honestly, be a stoic about it. <font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>Some of the richest people in the world want to commit suicide, and for not a very good reason. <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> I love how that statement seems to imply life-worth is measured in wealth. <font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>Women are know for that. <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> Mm. Gender-oriented generalization. Good job, Finalday. It´s a good thing for you AELK´s not around, that would have set her on the warpath. Edited by - Wilde on 9/11/2005 9:26:57 AM
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<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>Women are know for that. <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> Its based on personal experiance. In 22 years of apartment maintenance and muti companys, Every Woman I have worked with has been like that. Say the wrong thing, do something they don´t like, they will change thier mind. So, for me, it is not a generalization. But back to the problem, a changed mind, does have the chance of being changed back if worked with. <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>
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sudden shifts of mood and *changing minds* is the prerogative of the female, Wilde. One day you will understand this. My bearded colleauge from Mongo is quite correct. it´s not gender sterotyping, it´s a simple observation from experience of life. seeing as Fd and I have a combined age of about 90, I think we´d know. <gleefully takes proferred fiver from FD´s hand for no reason at all...> AELK, or Ann as she will let herself be referred to, isn´t quite the ogre she appears to be. there´s a hurt, spurned woman there who needs coaxing out of that strident feminist shell. she´s a pussycat with me but then you´ve either got it or you haven´t and the Grand Mullah has it in plenty <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> I know quite a bit about Ms Elk, I assure you.... Edited by - Tawakalna (Reloaded) on 9/11/2005 10:20:14 AM
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Ah. As my experience with females has been minimal, and nor do I desire it to be anything else, I bow to your knowledge on the subject.
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dude, hang in there. We all go through tough times. Suicide is not the answer. If it was, I would have been dead back in April. You just got to think positive
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Gunblader, i believe this warrents a telling of your brother´s legacy <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>
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I´ve heard the same story every time. You think your life is tough? Spare me the over exageration of your life. Suicide means you´re a coward, is that what you want? What´s the point anyway? You think you´re going to be heard if you kill yourself? Bull****. I´ve seen people everyday with problems worse than this. My advice is keep the problem to your self and don´t do anything stupid.
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Wrong advise DS. Holding it in only makes matters worse. A suicidal person is NOT a coward. They simply see no way out of a situation. Don´t think so? Wait till you get in that hole yourself. Talk to someone about the problem, will sometimes even provide an answer to the situation, that you didn´t see before. Wether it be girl problems, money, job or family, you need some one to talk to. Oh, and DS? I do know first hand what I´m talking about. In 1982 I attempted suicide. 60 pills and I was on my way to dieing. Fortuantly for me, I had friends who cared and they got my butt to the emergency room where they pumped my stomach. I had no intentions of ever wanting to wake up in this life again. Things had gotten so bad, I saw no way out. Oh, and it is not cowardly, it takes guts to do it. What it is, is tragic that you would miss finding your answer you needed too late. That is the reason I will do what ever it takes to help another avoid what I did and find thier answer. There is help available around you, jsut reach out, call out or just yell. Someone will hear you. <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=´http://img.photobucket.com/alb…3/Nakdimon/bear-e2thm.jpg ´>
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*points up* Now there is sound advice if i ever saw it.
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Yes, life does seem pointless at times doesn´t it? Going through day by day, everything keeps changing, little improves, life seems nothing more than biological impluses and empty, purposeless existance; except perhaps to breed. However as the saying goes, "Life is what you make of it." How you perceive situations obviously directly affects your life. Now you can either fall into the trap of being a pessimist, be fooled into being an optimist or simply be objective about how you live your life. Instead of looking at your family situation and deciding that it´s the worst thing ever and that they´re trying to hurt you and ruin your life. Look at it and see people with lives they´re unhappy with taking it out on you. People with problems which need addressing. Ignore their childish, condescending nature because it´s not worth your time nor your energy to deal with such trivialities. Your problem is that you take everything personally and don´t take the time to see the inherent flaws of those around you which contribute to their behaviour. You fail to see that life will remain static for you while you do nothing to change it or do nothing to set change in motion later on. There is always a way out besides suicide, again, look at it objectively. Suicide, you will end your life and then you will never be happy, you will in fact hinder your attempts to escape from everything because suicide isn´t an escape so much as it is simply the end. This post is getting far too long for my taste however so I will end it here. And for the record, I´m not suggesting you implied suicide, I´m simply following the tone of the previous posters.
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Nice words, Now to the others who are telling you that "there are others who have it worse, so stop whining" - or words to that effect....... Time to publish that methinks: <A href=´http://cms.psychologytoday.com/pto/home.php´ Target=_Blank>psychology today</a> - your attitude should single handedly solve any issues to do with depression, or the blues - which believe it or not, can really manifest into clinical depression! Your miraculous cure upon hearing just a few "symptoms" is astounding, you should be proud of yourselves! We can now live in a permanent state of bliss and happiness - safe in the knowledge that if you are having it bad, someone else is worse off - so you best be happy. If someone dies - well someone else is being tortured - so be happy! Okay, way over the top, far too much sarcasm - but I am trying to make a memorable point here, sorry if it pisses you off, but bah - others have it worse right, so stop complaining <img src=smilies/icon_smile_big.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> Whilst its true that right now he has been hit with a load of crap, and we all assume things will only get better from here out (due to personal experiences) -people don´t need to be told to "shut up" about it. Extra rejection or brushing off, coupled with heartless comments to their situation is not going to make them fine suddenly, and isn´t going to help them immediately either. If you got dumped by a woman, or someone died and you were upset - would someone saying "shut up, others have it worse" really enable you to pull yourself together again miraculously quickly? I reeeeeally doubt it. The feelings are very real - ideas that they are "false" aren´t going to help, ideas that others have it worse isn´t going to solve his issue. Cut those whom are blue a bit of slack instead, if you don´t feel like offering advice other than the good old fashioned "Pull yerself together and shut up!" - then don´t bother. All I will say is that maybe you should try getting out the house more - mingling with friends etc, so even if its bad at home - you have somewhere to escape to, look forward to etc. Like Neo said, get a new hobby or something. Also, like everyone else has said - things will get better <i>eventually </i>. I would bet that you know this yourself too, you´ve probabily had your fair share of "feeling bad" already - and this is just a fustrated vent to ensure your not alone with it. Well, you aren´t - we´ve all been there at one time or another. Edited by - Mike G on 9/12/2005 2:48:19 AM
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Arania: There are time in life that everyone goes through, a time of self doubt, questioning and mild depression, and unfortunately, it is a all part of the human condition. Everyone normally used to have to deal with this by themselves, due to fear of ridicule from peers, but in today´s lifestyle you have strangers who share your feelings and state of mind, but who really, in the great scheme of things don´t have a great deal of importance in you life. In the times of the internet, anybody can connect with others with the same problems, in an environment that is, at times, uninfluential and your actions and words can have less meaning here than in your own life. George in your class will be able to give you hell every day, but teh1337-1 from Idaho can´t really do squat. And in this environment, a lot of people can be a lot more open, because it has no impact on your real life. But that doesn´t mean it´s not important. Most of us here have had the same experiences as you, and will share their experiences, and the ways that they dealt with it. The people I know online know as much about me as my closest friends, but because they are a rather long way away, they can´t really tell people about it. But I guess i´m rambling on here a bit. Don´t forget that this resource is here. And, true to my word, I will share my experiences on the subject. Most of the people I know, are unaware of condition. I have a clinical case of manic depression. However, most of the time, I have the ability to control it. Some of my manic phases have actually helped me and others through hard times, but if I slide far enough into depression, it can be rather nasty. That is one of the reasons I don´t drink alcohol regularly, as it loosens my control over my emotions, and either I become super happy and funny (thats not so bad for me, others, its a different story) or I become depressed, sometimes unable to find the will to move. But there are things that I do to take care of it. My photography, my music, and my writing keeps me sane. A creative outlet can make all the difference. I know that you got some writing talent Arania, so try and keep you mind occupied that way. I listen to certain styles of music to lift my spirits, to lessen the effect of the depression. At times ridiculously happy music can make me feel worse, so a balance must be found. I´m not completly aware of th emusic you´re into, so I wont make too many suggestions, but the new Audioslave album ´Out Of Exile´ can drastically brighten my mood, Daft Punk has the same effect too. Try to avoid really overtly happy or sad songs, as they either bring you down worse, or make you feel out of place because the musician is happy and you´re not. Go somewhere quiet where you feel happy. Outside your room would be preferable, even if you climb on your own roof and stare at the scenery, it would give you a moment of peace to reflect. (small note: make sure you know what you´re doing if you get up on the roof... dont want any accidents to happen...) I dont know if these are any help, but it´s what I do to get out of my states, which, are very similar to yours. And the girl, giver her time and space. She sounds like she´ll come around. Just be patient. I´m still waiting to find the right girl. Jask the Love Shark -:- You wanna revolution?
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It is awkward for me to consider commenting on a thread like this one. Especially as, once again, my views have been misrepresented and overstated by that Islamic priest guy. But this is a cry for help so I will make this observation to the originator of this thread: The oddest thing about life is that the darkest moments for ourselves are the corners into which we paint ourselves. What I mean is that as you take on more years, Arania, you will discover that there always will be a different way to look at things and when seen from those other perspectives, the situation in which you may find yourself will have lost some if not all of the emotion-packed wretchedness that you thought was immovable and irresistible. So try to see things from a different viewpoint. As for women having the prerogative to change their minds. This is just a male chauvinists way of excusing himself from being too thick and neanderthalish to understand or appreciate a woman´s feelings or perceptions on things. I suppose it boils down, again, to perspective, see?
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Ok @ Bear, I´ve already been in that whole, and trust me, having people say it´s ok and everything will work out gets your hopes up and makes you feel good for a while. Then when it does get worse that hope you have goes right away. And yes, being suicidal is being a coward. There´s no point to it, and 10 bucks says he´ll just do it to get attention. I´m not the one saying "Hang in there!" or "It´ll all work out in the end, just don´t kill yourself." I´m the one telling him how it is. If he can´t handle it than he can listen to you all say the same thing over and over about you know how he feels or whatever. The point still remains, it might work out in the end, but chances are it will get much worse before that. Like I said, I say it how it is, I don´t give him false hope.
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<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>I´ve heard the same story every time. You think your life is tough? Spare me the over exageration of your life. I´ve seen people everyday with problems worse than this. My advice is keep the problem to your self and don´t do anything stupid. <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> I fail to see where exactly you are "telling him like it is" in your first post...... I like your pessimism, its a good idea to reassure that you can keep someone thinking things can only get worse when they are feeling drastically blue. Way to go with the "bet" as well, really really tactful. I would do another little "play" out of your "chances are things are going to get worse for ya bud" statement, but I guess I can simply leave that one to peoples immaginations..........