Well, A second Fan Fiction. No Guarantees.

    heh, I´d love you to. I need help with writing style, as my creative writing in English is pretty bad... Officer! I swear to drunk I´m not God!

    I thought you started well and there´s plenty of ´edgy´ thriller to your short tale :_ Here´s a suggestion of the first paragraph.. <font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>Kindjal swept through deep space far within the Borderworlds. The freelancer repeatedly checked his scanners as he flew to his next waypoint. The Mactan Lane Hackers request was straightforwards; find an artifact smuggler named John Kent and return his apparently valuable cargo. There was no mention of what to do with the smuggler or his ship. <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> It´s usually your opening paragraphs that tell the reader &quot;should I go on reading?&quot; Make generous use of spaces, punctuation, grammar - is it easy to read? There are several great links and guides at the top of this forum. Check them out! Granted, FL is a techie´s game and real fans probably know the codes for all the project weapons too, but sometimes a writer can get bogged down in too much detail (Graviton level 8 shield, could be replaced with &quot;powerful Graviton shield&quot<img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>. Try to re-read your work after you´ve finished, 99% you´ll pick something up that doesn´t make sense or could be written better. Finally, don´t be afraid to keep trying. You´ll find that TLR is one of the more contructively helpful and encouraging forums - we all start somewhere! <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> ttfn x Edited by - athena on 10/7/2005 2:19:44 AM Edited by - athena on 10/7/2005 2:22:05 AM

    Thanks, I´ll keep that In mind for my next chapter. It should be up by about... wednesday, if not earlier. Officer! I swear to drunk I´m not God!