Posts by Balthazar Furious

I doubt if anyone will even remember me but here I am.

I just spent the last 30 minutes looking at my old forum posts and it's crazy how much of a different person I was back then, but I suppose it was 5-6 years ago.

The heartlessness of some TLR members doesn´t surprise me. What these people cannot understand is that among the fact that their opinions on suicide are both unwelcome and irrelevant, they are also marred by their preconceptions of life. Preconceptions they stubbornly hold onto, as if their opinion is the leading authority on what is correct and what is not. Perhaps if they opened their eyes a little and looked beyond their personal reality they would be shocked to find a world outside of the one they know where differing ideas and opinions do not = automatically incorrect. The ulimate solution? Don´t have an opinion. As for you Arania (sp?), try my ideas out, try being as objective about everything in life as possible. Perhaps you will not take my advice, perhaps you will but will change back to the way you were once life improves (as it usually does), or perhaps you will take what I say seriously and get a deeper meaning from life by viewing it independantly of the smoke screen of emotion and opinion. If you ever want to chat, add me to MSN. My email addy is on my profile.

It must also be noted that suicide in itself is not a cowardly act, it is merely an act. You are applying cultural values to an action. Careful not to be so arrogant as to imply that your cultural values are some sort of universal truth.

Yes, life does seem pointless at times doesn´t it? Going through day by day, everything keeps changing, little improves, life seems nothing more than biological impluses and empty, purposeless existance; except perhaps to breed. However as the saying goes, "Life is what you make of it." How you perceive situations obviously directly affects your life. Now you can either fall into the trap of being a pessimist, be fooled into being an optimist or simply be objective about how you live your life. Instead of looking at your family situation and deciding that it´s the worst thing ever and that they´re trying to hurt you and ruin your life. Look at it and see people with lives they´re unhappy with taking it out on you. People with problems which need addressing. Ignore their childish, condescending nature because it´s not worth your time nor your energy to deal with such trivialities. Your problem is that you take everything personally and don´t take the time to see the inherent flaws of those around you which contribute to their behaviour. You fail to see that life will remain static for you while you do nothing to change it or do nothing to set change in motion later on. There is always a way out besides suicide, again, look at it objectively. Suicide, you will end your life and then you will never be happy, you will in fact hinder your attempts to escape from everything because suicide isn´t an escape so much as it is simply the end. This post is getting far too long for my taste however so I will end it here. And for the record, I´m not suggesting you implied suicide, I´m simply following the tone of the previous posters.

Well I´m currently in retail although I´m not selling, I work more now as a technician and stock manager. I might be moving to the Department of Internal Affairs soon though, a nice government position.

<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>post here the wierdest stuff u seen anywhere, on tv, in real life or,.......anywhere <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> Does having street lights go out when you´re walking or driving by them count?

I hate you people.

Lucid dreams? Scary? If you can control the dream, could you not have simply altered the dreamscape and/or situation? Or was the lucidity not quite as lucid as that? I have also heard that when you confront what ails you in dreams, particularly lucid dreams, that it becomes much less frightening, often turning into something weak and pathetic. God how I want to have lucid dreams. Why can´t I bloody have lucid dreams? Curse you whatever controls lucid dreams. Edited by - Balthazar Furious on 8/31/2005 1:56:57 AM

The news? Most of the stuff that goes on these days doesn´t bother me. Genocide, accidents, war, it´s all just more of the same and not particularly interesting to boot.

What Taw has experienced sounds similar to sleep paralysis. Here´s an excerpt from a Wikipedia page on it. <i>The disorder known as &quot;sleep paralysis&quot; occurs when the brain is awakened from a REM state into essentially a normal fully awake state, but the bodily paralysis is still occurring. This causes the person to be fully aware, but unable to move. In addition, this state is usually accompanied by certain specific kinds of hallucinations. This state usually lasts no more than two minutes before a person is able to either return to full REM sleep or to become fully awake, though the sense of how much time has gone by is often distorted during sleep paralysis. People who are fortunate enough to be facing a clock while having an episode may often be surprised to see how little time has gone by during an episode that seems to last a very long time. <b>Accompanying hallucinations </b> Many report hallucinations during these episodes. The features of these hallucinations generally vary by individual, but some are more common to the experience than others: Most common * Vividness * Fear Common * Sensing a &quot;presence&quot; (often malevolent) * Pressure/weight on body (especially the chest) * Impending sense of doom/death Fairly common * Auditory hallucinations (often footsteps or indistinct voices, or pulsing noises) * Visual hallucinations such as people or shadows walking around the room Less common * Floating sensation (sometimes associated with out-of-body experiences) * Seemingly seamless transition into full hallucinations or dreaming, also associated with out-of-body experiences * Tactile hallucinations (such as a hand touching or grabbing) Rare * Falling sensation * Vibration Possible causes Little is known about the physiology of awareness during sleep paralysis. However, some have suggested that it may be linked to post-synaptic inhibition of motor neurons in the pons region of the brain. In particular, low levels of melatonin may stop the depolarisation current in the nerves, which prevents the stimulation of the muscles. There is also a significant positive correlation between those experiencing this disorder frequently and those suffering from narcolepsy. However, various studies suggest that many or most people will experience sleep paralysis at least once or twice in their lives. Some report that various factors increase the likelihood of both paralysis and hallucinations. These include: * Sleeping in a supine position * Irregular sleeping schedules; naps, sleeping in * Increased stress * Sudden environmental/lifestyle changes Cultural references In Japan, awareness during sleep paralysis is referred to as kanashibari (&amp;#37329;&amp;#32283;&amp;#12426;, literally: &quot;bound or fastened in metal&quot;: kana: metal, shibaru: to bind, tie, fasten&quot<img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>; in Canada (Newfoundland), as a visit from the &quot;old hag&quot; (Ag Rog); in Mexico, as subida del muerto (the dead getting on top); in Turkish, as karabasan (black buster) and in Hazaragi, as Syahi Zer Kado (pressing ink). In the Southern United States, people have described it as &quot;The witch riding your back&quot;. The common belief in China is that a spirit or ghost is sitting or lying on top of the individual while they were sleeping, which is the cause of the awareness during sleep paralysis. This is thought to be a minor body possession by the forces from the dead, and usually doesn´t cause any harm to the victim. In medieval times of Europe, attacks of sufferers of sleep paralysis may have given rise to the belief in mara, incubi, succubi, other demons and witchcraft. In traditional Russian belief symptoms reminiscent of sleep paralysis were attributed to the anger of domovoi, the home spirit, punishing people for bad husbandship or betrayal. The combination of paralysis and hallucinations has led to speculation that the phenomenon might be a cause of some alien abduction reports, out-of-body experiences, and other seemingly paranormal events. </i> Now you don´t have to actually fall asleep for this to happen either. It´s also possible to accidently enter into sleep paralysis with an awake mind but sleeping body. ------------------------------- The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don´t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. - James D. Nicoll Love blinds us to faults, but hatred blinds us to virtues. - Iba Ezra Edited by - Balthazar Furious on 8/27/2005 1:54:28 AM

Well everyone seemed to be going on and on about the amazing quality, and the difference. All I had was some really crap $50 card I bought 2-3 years ago. Look <A href=´http://www.creative.com/products/product.asp?category=1&amp;subcategory=204&amp;product=4915&amp;nav=1´ Target=_Blank> here</a> at the features, none of which I can hear. Or <A href=´http://www.creative.com/products/product.asp?category=1&amp;subcategory=204&amp;product=4915&amp;nav=awards´ Target=_Blank> here</a> at all the awards. Something that received so many awards should be bloody good. I certainly hope no critics or reviewers were bought out in the awarding process. Edited by - Balthazar Furious on 8/13/2005 6:09:07 AM

Well I recently bought a 5.1 surround sound system with sub and everything. So all the wires and speakers are less than a few months old. As for the game, F.E.A.R. isn´t even out yet, in the options it has all the fancy EAX support and whatnot. So really, I´d imagine a game so new that it hasn´t been released to have very good quality sound with &quot;quality&quot; hardware.

To get the most out of <A href=´http://www.burntfaceman.com/episodes.htm´ Target=_Blank>this</a> go from the movie trailor onwards, I dunno about you guys but I found it damn funny in some parts. Warning: Contains swearing Edited by - Balthazar Furious on 8/9/2005 3:45:40 PM

<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>Balthazar - Truly no need for such insane self-loathing, you´re cute! <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> *hisses at Wilde*

Here´s my ugly mug. Only view if your monitor is built strong enough to not crack when displaying grotesque (sp) images. This was from November last year so my hair´s substantially longer now. <A href=´http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/4500/nov07013jx.jpg ´ Target=_Blank>Cover thine eyes lest ye be stricken with blindness.</a> Edited by - Balthazar Furious on 7/26/2005 7:56:44 PM

Congrats Locutus. Hope the day´s full of fun and at least reasonably good thoughts.

Heh, <A href=´http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=ticket_to_hell´ Target=_Blank>this</a> made me chuckle. Check it out even if you´re not a fan of Maddox.

Who cares? As long as SOMEONE got executed for it.

<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>The Parents Television Council, one of several media watchdogs that have criticized Rockstar and the ESRB, called on the game publisher to recall the game and offer refunds. <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> Oh yes you morons, as if Rockstar are going to recall one of their biggest hit sellers and lose millions in revenues because some uptight &quot;soccer moms&quot; want to wrap their children in bubble wrap. God I hate people.

If I were to become a casualty of said system, I would not take it lightly. Of course I would attempt escape from and possibly murder of my captors. Call me hypocritical if you wish, I´m allowed, I am human after all, albeit only grudgingly.