my first part-fanfic

  • "Reports of Coalition and Nomad ships are getting closer". "What action will you take?" "Time is running out sir". "Chancellor?" "Block all exits in Rhienland. I want every navy officer, police officer, privateer, and freelancer out there!" "But si"... "I don´t care! We´ll need all the help we can get! Rhienland is too big to defend, we can only hope to protect New Berlin". "I´ll contact the admiral". "Not yet! I have a plan. We will seperate all the ships into four squadrons. Each will be given coordinates to lay mines". "But that will deplete our recources!" "What other choices do we have!?" "Very well, I shall contact the Admiral and tell him your orders". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "This is Squadron Alpha, we are in position and ready to go". "Beta in position". "Gamma ready". "Delta Squadron here, all systems are check" "This is central control, the mission is a go. Now mine those coordinates and get the hell out of there". "Roger that". "Alpha here, we are done and ready for the assault". "Gamma Squadron is finishing up". "Nothing´s getting through here, Delta out". "Beta, hurry up and mine those coordinates" "Our ships are malfunctioning!" "Get the hell out of there! Now!" "Damn! my engines are out!" "All ships go to Beta´s coordinates, we are detecting multiple fighter wings inbound! I repeat, all fighters to Beta´s coordinates!" "Our ships are failing!" "Damnit! they must have gotten advanced machinery jammers! Fire the long range Ion cannon!" "But it´s only a prototype!" "All of our ships will get destroyed if we don´t!" "It´s still in testing!" "Fire it!" "Right away sir". "Ion cannon charging up. thirty percent" "Damn! More are jumping in!" "Fifty percent. Sixty percent. Seventy percent." "Come on come on!!" "Eighty percent. ninety percent. Ion cannon fully charged sir". "Fire into the middle of the enemy ships!" "Sir!" As the Ion beam was firing, several wings of nomad ships decloaked around the station. "Damn! We don´t stand a chance! Fire all torpedos, detach the Ion cannon and send it to New Berlin!" "Sir, our systems are jammed!" "Go into manual override!" "Right away!" "All enemies at Beta´s coordinates are gone Commander!" "Beta here, our ships are back online, continuing to lay mines. What just happened?" "It´s not over yet! get rid of the ships at Central control!" "Alpha, take care of them, we still have mines to lay!" "We´re sustaining heavy damage! They´re jamming our systems! We´re defenseless!" "Alpha, we´ll have to fire missiles and stay out of range". "Hurry! Life support is failing!" "Fire!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Our last effort to protect New Berlin succeeded. But many lives were lost, but many more will be lost. That is the price we have to pay to defend ourselves. The Coalition will not succeed to run us out of our land like they did eight-hundred years ago! Now is the time! Now is the time we take our stand! Now is the time that we will prevail!" Tremendous cheers are heard all around the Chanceller. "For years we have been worrying about the return of the Coalition. And now that they have; we will desroy them! All ships are to form wings and patrol the area. There will be no element of surprise for them! If you see any unusual activity you are to call in imediatly! You won´t stand a chance alone. The Vice Chanceller and I have contacted the Corsairs. Rumor is that they have an advanced carrier capable of taking on the Coalition almost by itself. Also another rumor is that they have allied with the Outcasts and recovered pieces of the old Coalition Frontal Assault Battleships from before we were forced out of Sol and repaired them for the fight for Serius. We have also done this, we have taken the remains from the Eighty Years War and formed them into battleships more than three times as powerful as they were before. Together, WE WILL WIN!" Just as the president said this, the sounds of ships docking with this massive station were heard. The corsairs have arrived. Battleships were everywhere. There were literally hundreds. Millions for the first time, saw what ships had drivin their ancestors from their homelands. In the distance, more ships could be seen, it was the Battleship Westfallen, which had been in the drydocks for repairs, followed by more than fifty ships no one has seen before. The Hispania has just docked with ________. Orillian followed by the Corsair and the Outcast leader approached the president. "So the rumors are true, you did team up with the Outcasts, and a little surprise too? The Order; I presume that you are the leader of this, Orillian?" "It has been long ________. The Coalition has advanced jamming capabilities". "We know that allready! We lost many ships because of it" "I will order my men to put a jamming block in your ships, you´ll need it. I have a feeling that when they hit this time, they will hit hard." "Starting ze party without me are we?" "Von Claussen!? I thought you were dead!" "No, a Nomad spy tried to pose as me." "When I got back, I saw that thing dead". "Where did you go in the first place?" "That information remains a secret". Edited by - Wolf_Demon on 12/2/2004 9:04:29 PM

    [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v130/master_wolf/TechSig03.png]

  • <font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>wondered if i actually did this...its so..not like me<img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> A year ago, I had to interpret everything you said so others could understand, so yes, I´d agree, it wasn´t like you. <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> But it was a sign of the more intelligent Wolfy we know today. <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> It´s a great dialog drama! It reminds me of the old radio plays, where all you have is dialog and sound effects. You´re missing character names and action description so I can´t say it´s like a book or even a stage play. But you do have realistic discussion and speaking, for most writers they have the worst difficulty writing good dialog. Dialog appears to be something that comes naturally to you. It´s a little short for a story and could use a lot more elaboration ... so says the man who wrote a 33 page play about one argument! <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>(and Spectre, if you´re still out there, i´d really like to know how you like it<img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>) <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> Thanks for the email, it was fun to hear from you again. I´m pleased to see you´re partaking in some mind expanding behavior (without the use of an illicit products <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>). Keep writing and always remember this when you reread what you have written: &quot;Am I giving people enough description to help them understand the details of the characters, world and events I have in my mind?&quot; This is what you need to work on, people reading your work have to be able to see into your mind ... scary thought, isn´t it?! <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile_big.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> EDIT: Now that I look at it again, compared to your topic post, it seems even less like you than I thought before. Words are actually properly capitalized in the story! <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> <img src=smilies/icon_smile_big.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> ___________________________________________________________ Sir Spectre giving the Spammysburg Address on 5/13/2004 22:21 PST: 12 posts and 2 days ago, we brought forth on this forum a new direction, conceived in spam and dedicated to the preposition that all posts are created useless. Now we are engaged in a great civil disobedience testing whether that thread or any thread so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great forum of that nonsense. We have come to dedicate a portion of that forum as a final resting-place for those topics that gave of their importance that spam might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this ... blah blah blah, spam spam spam. Edited by - Sir Spectre on 12/16/2004 12:53:28 PM

    ___________________________________________________________ Sir Spectre giving the Spammysburg Address on 5/13/2004 22:21 PST: 12 posts and 2 days ago, we brought forth on this forum a new direction, conceived in spam and dedicated to the preposition that all posts are created useless. Now we are engaged in a great civil disobedience testing whether that thread or any thread so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great forum of that nonsense. We have come to dedicate a portion of that forum as a final resting-place for those topics that gave of their importance that spam might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this ... blah blah blah, spam spam spam.

  • @ sS good to see you <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> would you mind taking a look at my story underneath this one? its called ´ duty ´ there is also another called ´ drift´ near the bottom of the forum if you wann

  • Thanks for the reply spectre. and yea, i know it´s a little short, hence the topic &quot;part-fanfic&quot;<img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>

    [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v130/master_wolf/TechSig03.png]

  • @ff, make an honest response to Wolfy´s story then I´ll take a look at yours. <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> Wolfy , you´re welcome. <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middl

    ___________________________________________________________ Sir Spectre giving the Spammysburg Address on 5/13/2004 22:21 PST: 12 posts and 2 days ago, we brought forth on this forum a new direction, conceived in spam and dedicated to the preposition that all posts are created useless. Now we are engaged in a great civil disobedience testing whether that thread or any thread so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great forum of that nonsense. We have come to dedicate a portion of that forum as a final resting-place for those topics that gave of their importance that spam might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this ... blah blah blah, spam spam spam.

  • great story wolfy <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> it seems a little....thick for some reason, the language doesnt flow to me ( but ignore me, i read the classics a lot, and im sleepy )