good ole dad.

Kimk, Yes, your dad could pull the "send them home" deal with you, essecially if honor is involved. If you have a school that you want to go to, make your case and present it to him. Show the evidenct that it is a good place to get the education, fees covered, it has a good reputation and so forth. I learn a lot through TR, including about differnt cultures. Some place high on responciblities, respect, honor to parents. You may have to abide by your dad´s wishes, but, see if you can convence him of your choice, not argue, that won´t help, but present a well thought out plan for the school of your choice. Edited by - Finalday on 11/21/2004 7:52:11 PM

Kimk : accept my condolescence, pal, it must be real tough time for you now. Ok, first off, speaking about your father´s ability to control you via the embassy. It depends a lot on whether he has relatives/close friends/co-drinkers (<img src=smilies/icon_

@ff: is there some chip in your head that was flicked recently which turned you into the worlds greatest asshole? Its like everything that comes out of your mouth is insanely innapropriate or just outright useless. Kimk has a problem, he needs to talk

Its a bit of a predicament you find yourself in kimk. If you were to come to my beautiful yet wet, cold and miserable country, i doubt the korean embassy would be able to just take you out of here and just dump you in korea. The only way is if you murder someone in korea, fly over here, then you could be extradited (sp?). As zlo said, your dad just wants what he thinks is best for you. You are his son after all. I also agre with Arcon. Don´t use &quot;its my life, i can do what i want&quot; attitude because that will make it infinately worse. Reason is the best course of action in a situation like this. Talk to him properly about this.

Most of the ideas already mentioned are good, and &quot;talking things out&quot; with your father is the best policy. Assuming that he has the power to yank you back to Korea, convincing him is your only option. Of course, you could always claim sanctuary <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>.

claim sanctuary? i dont get that <img src=smilies/icon_smile_question.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> as for convincing, he´s no one to convince. one of those uber stuck up people who you can´t get anything past. believe me, i´ve tried before. its best to let him think he´s getting his way. he ´knows how to tread the world´ would be the most appropriate translation of his claims. i´ve presented every single thing from my side. A levels only take one and half years, i get a cert sooner. a job cert at that. i can go anywhere with it too. all i want dad to do is to foot half the remaining bills. mum here can´t foot everything, that being whatever is left after my 100% scholarship. pretty scary huh ? a 100% scholarship is usually a definite path to that institute of education. he keeps on crapping about the ´merits´ of korea. how its leading in so many industries. patriotism is all good and that. but am i really gonna go into shipbuilding? oh and, he says america can conquer russia. but england can´t. he emphasises on ´the strength of science´ whatever the F*** that is. also s***s about the strength of a country. dont ask me wtf that is either. but i need a case against that. isn´t his argument that the UK can´t conquer russia cause of the UN disarmament pact or something, which america isn´t part of ? and well, i´ve checked into another college. they´re bargaining with me. they first offered 50%, they called today and put up 55%. then offered to look into a 10k waive, which is around 80%. mum stuck up for 100%. if i get that, then my dad´ll be the doormat. edit: oh and thanks for your input guys. i have, all my life, tried to talk things out with him. but he´s just too stubborn, the main reason which all his other siblings got divorced by their respective wives. he wants to look like the boss of all things. i can only hope i dont turn out like him =/ Edited by - kimk on 11/22/2004 2:03:04 AM

Kimk Already answered, I think but to clarify, so long as you are under-age, not an &quot;emancipated adult&quot; most countries will recognize a right of a parent to exercise physical control over where a his/her child lives, etc. He´d probably have

trusted adult acquaintence would be TLR <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> i´ll wait till the end of this week, where all major moves will be made. dad wants the certs see? well when i get my cert, i´ll also be making my moves. giving a copy to the college i want to enrol in. i will, of course, be sending him his copy, as it is only fair to level the plaing field. then it´ll be another week of waiting i think. if the other college im looking at, which also happens to be alot closer, eliminating transportation problems, gives me the full scholarship, i will be able to ignore all my dad´s threats whatsoever and take shelter in that college or something. might even turn it physical. get hold of some sniper rifles to snipe down all incoming korean officials come to drag me back.

Just remember one thing about your Dad. He really and truly wants what is best for you and he wants to keep you from making what he thinks are mistakes that are avoidable. You should always acknowledge this, recognize this desire of his and respect it for what it is in words to him, directly. Including a &quot;thank you&quot; in the process. <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> Part of this process in your dealings with him should include ways for you to try to talk to him as an adult. By this, I mean that you will have to consider how you´ve been talking to him so far and to see whether you´ve been talking to him as if you were a child or as a grown man who is ready, willing and able make decisions for himself, right or wrong. Think about how he talks to you and see whether his way of talking automatically takes you into child mode. If it does, work on ways to stay out of child mode. Fairly universal for men is to talk actual facts as a sign of maturity. This means both the main point of your argument but also the backup research you have done to cover all the bases. And then, of course, to stick to those facts. I´m not saying that it will work but you are going to have to keep showing him that you are mature enough to make this decision and that this is the decision that you intend to live by.

<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>claim sanctuary? i dont get that <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2>Well it´s not technically &quot;sanctuary&quot;, perhaps &quot;political asylum&quot; would be a better term <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>.

asylum seeking is a hot potato at the moment in rosey england

I´m glad I was wearing my asbestos gloves when I posted that <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>.

Sounds like a possibility that your dad, while listening to you, may not actually be hearing you. It may be a wise move to write him a detailed letter explaining exactly why your choice of education would be a better option, make sure (as Indy said) to back up everything you say with facts and were said facts were sourced from. I sometimes find that writing down exactly what you mean is sometimes better than a conversation as you can choose your wording more carefully, which is sometimes more difficult in a heated exchange of words.

well, thing being, he isn´t the most understanding of people. you can dump as many facts and statistics as you like on him but he´ll still come out smiling undeterred from his motives. i know this sounds old, but he belives he´s always right, neither my mum nor my grandma (his mother) has ever been able to make him see otherwise on any matter however trivial it may be.

He believes that he´s always right? *Shakes head in disgust* I hear you old chum; my grandmother is like that too. Fortunately, we have come to an understanding after many years of fighting (except for the occasional hiccough). I know that you don´t have years to work on it, but there is hope <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>.

what he blieves: he´s all right on all arguments based on opinions. the only arguments where he can be proven wrong and where he admits it, are those where only facts are involved, such as numbers, maths. so i´ve tried to reduce things to pros and cons. but noo. he´s ´traveled the world and knows much more than me´ so everything he says goes.

Maybe he misses you and wants you to be with him for a while? &lt;Edit&gt; Just a thought about possible motives for his position on this. Not a suggestion that you are at fault or anything. Edited by - Indy11 on 11/23/2004 1:27:52 PM

i´ve thought about that too. but in all seriousness, its a fact that i *will not* be able to get away once im there. it´ll all be up to him.