thats it, *ratatatatatatatatatatat* that will keep ff from drinkin for a while<img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle><img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle><img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>:
The truth of Tawakalnistan
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The <b> truth </b> about Tawakalnistan is that it wasn´t at one time. Ages ago, at the close of 2003, a madman who shall remain nameless seized power over a quiet hamlet in England known as North Staffordshire. He imposed his will upon the locals and established a state in which he enforced a cult worship of his personality and in which all property became titled with the state and in turn, as the personal embodiment of the state, titled with this man, as dictator. This new state was varyingly called the Peoples Democratic Republic of North Staffordshire or the Peoples Republic of North Staffordshire. The charismatic qualities of this madman were not insignificant and he managed to dupe many capable men to do his bidding as members of his government and generals of his armed forces. This madman looked to the east with an avaricious appetite for the riches and women of an ancient and decaying empire ruled by a jaded emperor who was more interested in satisfying his appetite for many different vices than to look after his minions. The dictator saw his opportunity and, with the aid of very capable henchmen, waged war with that decadent empire. Known as the <A href=´http://new.lancersreactor.org/t/forum/topic.asp?whichpage=1&pagesize=20&forum_title=Off+Topic&topic_title=&forum_id=12&topic_id=27114´ Target=_Blank> Great Utopian War </a> this conflict ended in the disintegration of the PDRNS, the desertion of the Dictator of his own holdings and, in turn, the desertion of the Dictator by his chief adjutants except for one loyal general who had been thoroughly deceived by his leader. In the aftermath, as peace slowly brought a modicum of prosperity to the devastated lands, a man who covered his face with a number of tea towels arrived in the erstwhile PDRNS. A lit Irish cigarrette, known as Sweet Aftons, were never far from his lips... which was quite an accomplishment given the way in which the tea towels were arrayed about his head. He walked in alligator skinned thin-soled Bally shoes, but wore no socks, and he carried a mop handle as a staff. He preached to the long suffering people of the area and spread words of comfort and inspiration to a population that had been so abjectly defeated and beaten down. Soon the inspirational quality of his words spread throughout the hamlet and the people flocked to hear him talk of things: The best value for candies (Morrison´s); how not to mess up an XP installation; whether ´tis better to SP1 or SP2; who had the first releases and best of computer components (not to be disclosed here). The sage´s advice on things were innumerable. Quickly thence, the people thronged and strove to make him their spiritual and political leader. It was then that he revealed his name: Tawakalna. ....The rest is history. <img src=smilies/icon_smile_tongue.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> Edited by - Indy11 on 4/15/2005 6:49:51 AM
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Yes, Indy, but you did leave something out. "There will be a short quiz next period". Aside from that, you could publish it.
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"he managed to dupe many capable men to do his bidding as members of his government" yes well you were *duped* were you? does that mean you weren´t capable then? <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> the above revisionism is a disgraceful distortion of history padded out with supposition and downright fabrication for the sole purpose of denigrating the people of Tawakalnistan and their pious and righteous leader. note where this catalogue of calumny originates from? the Dook of New Dworkia, the blood-sucking capitalist enemy himself. All this of course to pursue several interdependent aims; to destroy or hamper the establishment of a revolutionary Islamic state in lands of Tawakalnistan, to sully the good name of the Grand Mullah (me) and damage his (my) reputation at home and abroad, to seize the natural resources of Tawakalnistan for his own purposes and avenge preceived slights in the past, and also to project Noo Dworkian values and institutions into societies where they have no place. Not least, to gloss over his own involvement in said *hated* regime where as Minister of the Interior, Deputy Leader and Head of the State Security Commisssion, he was able to undertake many acts of personal enrichment and aggrandisement and institute a reign of terror; much of this was hidden from me and when I discovered his treachery and cruelty and took measures to deal with him, he betrayed our country and invited the enemies of our people and way of life in rto save his own skin and reap rich rewards from his betrayal. Note that this was not universally poular, both the military and the people remained loyal, but under the influence of Noo-dworkian/Mustantopian hallucinogenic drugs I was unable to conduct a proper defence. hence forth i was rescued by the people themselves who retained their trust in me as the best and only way to recover our national soverignty, and sheltered me until i was ready to lead our brave forces once again, now transformed from brave citizen militias into Fedayeen of Tawakalna. Whilst unwillingly in hiding from the murderous death squads and brutish allies of the Noo Dworkians and Mustantopia and other crappy countries, some of which ended up on the far side of the Moon, and some of which mysteriously managed to get a million spaceships that actually didnt do anything, God visted upon me revelation and showed me the means by which Tawakalnistan could be liberated and the foreign invaders driven out. Embarking upon a jihad agaisnt the enemy, Tawakalnistan was soon freed from the oppressive enemy yoke as the people rose up in one to welcome the return of their beloved leader and recieve the blessings of the Word of Allah, which was already much in accord with their own honest and dutiful piety. The people stand shoulder to shoulder with their Mullah, Dook; all your flying people in tights and mutants and petty mobsters and mobile phones and atms and wi-fi and other hated Western trappings of materialism give us no cause for fear, we will drive you out as we´ve done so many times in the past. btw the correct name is the Islamic Peoples Republic of Tawakalnistan, and you can find it on any decent map, although it´s existence is conveniently omitted from most maps in circulation. the historical capital is Wahlstantahnabad, and the as yet ill-defined frontiers strech from Al-Shahbariyah in the west to Al-Darbiyah in the east, and from Kahngahltahn in the north to Wahlvahamtahn in the south. Sadly, some regions remain under the influence of foreign reactionary elements, so an ongoing process of re-Tawakalnisation makes some regions *difficult* for foreigners to visit. "He preached to the long suffering people of the area and spread words of comfort and inspiration to a population that had been so abjectly defeated and beaten down.... Soon the inspirational quality of his words spread throughout the hamlet and the people flocked to hear him talk of things.... The sage´s advice on things were innumerable. Quickly thence, the people thronged and strove to make him their spiritual and political leader" = ooo it brings a tear to my eye, it´s no wonder you made if only for a short while a halfway decent sidecick erm Minister of the Interior. if it wasnt for your disgraceful crimes and complete inability to agree without question on everything I spout off about erm give wise and thoughtful rulings on, I´d be tempted to offer you some minor post as Permanent Under-Secretary for Going to the Shops for a Paper or some other position equal to your many talents <img src=smilies/icon_smile.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> edit: he who edits last, edits last. Edited by - Tawakalna Al-Fedayeen on 4/15/2005 3:34:04 PM
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And so history repeated itself. Up from the ashes of the PDRNS a sooty raven arose.... the IPRT... but I get ahead of myself. In those beginning times, it was a group effort of all the people to return the land to peaceful prosperity. And Tawakalna´s words proved wise. And in their gratitude, the people brought gifts to him. In the beginning, the gifts were humble fare, fruit, cigarette, home brewed beer, chocolate candies and the like. But in time, with growing prosperity came greater largesse. No longer just a fruit but a whole basket of fruit, not just a cigarette but a pack of them, not just home brewed beer but a six pack of the store bought variety.... And so the material boon to Tawakalna grew and as it grew, a small ember within him grew hotter. As the gifts grew to bushels, cartons and casks, that ember burst into a flame of greed of ambition. Now Tawakalna demanded his tribute lest he withhold his wisdom from the people. And the people complied as they became more and more unable to think for themselves. They did what they could to forefend against the stopping of that wellspring of knowledge that was Tawakalna. In the end, nothing short of total investment of all things of value with Tawakalna would suffice. And on that day of total surrender, the IPRT was born.
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and now I have your souls, or at least a bond on your property, which is much the same thing.
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*Steps from shadows* Ah! Revisionist history at its finest! <img src=smilies/icon_smile_big.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> However one question remains... did all of that happen before or after the kidnapping and indoctrination of the leaders of Mustantopia and the PDRNS by the evil forces of Sooty, Sweep, and <A href=´http://www.lancersreactor.org/t/forum/topic.asp?whichpage=8&pagesize=20&forum_title=Off+Topic&topic_title=&forum_id=12&topic_id=27426´ Target=_Blank>Auntie</a>? <img src=smilies/icon_smile_wink.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> *Returns to shadows eagerly awaiting a response*
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sahdows are banned in Tawakalnistan, I decided they were un-Islamic.
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In the hazy mists of the between time. The age when the PDRNS was no more and the IPRT was yet to be, a beaten man, a man with no purpose wandered about the countryside. He sought escape in any form he could find it but preferred herbs and patent medicines of a certain mind altering quality. He slept in storm drains, took meals from the garbage put out at night by restaurants ... and stole their tea towels for clothing and warmth. And he dreamed his dreams. Of strange stuffed animal-like beings that told him to be nice and good and thoughtful and honest. ...To be what he´d never think of being were he in a more lucid state. Dreams turned to reality and reality turned to dreams as he wandered about from one restaurant refuse bin to another. One day, while feasting lustily at an Indian takeaway, almost suffocating himself in the discards of shrimp vindaloo and chicken tikka masala, a restaurant washup boy caught sight of him ripping open the rubbish bags to get at the morsels within and chased after him with a broken mop. Cornered, the dreamer turned on his assailant and shed the tea towels that were draped about his head. The attacker stopped and howled at the site of the horrid green visage, dropped the mop handle and ran away shrieking "aaaiiieeeeeeeeeeee!" After evacuating what turned out to be rather tainted vindaloo and masala then and there, and still breathing heavily the stranger rearranged the tea towels, picked up the mop handle and headed back to his resting place, an abandoned warehouse. There he slept fitfully, dreaming of even stranger things of stuffed animals morphing in to military officers and suited government apparatchiks.... of redundant arrays of inexpensive disk drives, overflights of military aircraft and endless parades of armored battalions and shock troops... and of rows upon rows of American chocolate candies, Irish cigarettes and lascivious magazines. On the morning, the tea towel wrapped stranger was gone......Soon after, however, tales began to spring up of a wise man who could solve many problems of the day with simple words and kind gestures..... Edited by - Indy11 on 4/25/2005 7:18:23 PM
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Hello everyone, you may not remember me but I´m Oghma, ex-modder, professional lurker, and veteran of these forums since 2003. At this time, I would like to confirm my support for the Rabbit-God, and would also like to take this opportunity to quote a passage from the "Book of the Rabbit", Genesis, Chapter II, Verse V as penned by the High Priest of the Rabbit-God himself. "And so it was that on the third day, the Rabbit-God came down from on-high in a fiery chariot that outshone the sun itself and proclaimed His Lordship and Dominion over the hopping and peaceful inhabitants of Esquilaxitavia. It is told that He then raised His paws to the heavens and cried ´Today is a Holy day! Today let the Word go forth from this time and place that Esquilaxitavia is under the protection of the Rabbit-God! Let all heed well the words of the Rabbit-God and obey well the words of His chosen priests! Now go ye forth and multiply, as only the folk of Esquilaxitavia can in order that we may grow and prosper, and defend ourselves against those who would consume us!" As He lowered his paws from the heavens, a great cry went up, and word travelled throughout the city. And so it was that the fonts and basins in the Great Cathedral burst forth and overflowed with the Holy Libation Ginger Beer, and all stood in amazement, and there was much rejoicing and consumption of carbonated beverages. And so it was that the people of the Rabbit-God proclaimed their love for Him, knowing that their patron would watch over them, and protect them from the enemies of the Rabbitfolk of which the rabbit-eating Mullah of Tawakalnistan was foremost, followed closely by the blasphemous practices of the leader of Daftopia...." Edited by - oghma on 4/25/2005 11:08:58 PM
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<falls off chair in hilarity> Oghma. aka Esqui-lax, very lax. how transparent is that? Kai-Ping-Fu didnt get caught for weeks, nor Carnevale.
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<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>followed closely by the blasphemous practices of the leader of Daftopia <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> And all will kneel before him
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<font size=1 face="trebuchet ms"><BLOCKQUOTE><hr size=1 noshade>Oghma. aka Esqui-lax, very lax. how transparent is that? Kai-Ping-Fu didnt get caught for weeks, nor Carnevale <hr size=1 noshade></BLOCKQUOTE></font><font face=´trebuchet ms, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica´ size=2> What admirable qualities those alter-egos displayed...
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Kai-Ping-Fu was great! he told interesting stories and was a bloody good laugh. And.. he ended up at the court of Kublai Khan in legendary Xanadu - oh yes... Carnevale was a bit of an arse though, I must admit. do you know, he´s working as a guide for American tourists in the Congo of all places? Edited by - Tawakalna al-Fedayeen on 4/27/2005 11:20:33 AM
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ive never heard of the-congo-of-all-places, is that anything like the butt-end-of-no-where?
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it´s nothing like *Ashford* if that´s what you mean.
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*Steps from shadows* Eh? Who said that I was Oghma? I just checked the profile; that account was created in 2003. Why would I wait so long before using it? More of the Mullah´s crazy theories! Og - Nice work old chum <img src=smilies/icon_smile_big.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle>. *Returns to shadows*
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that wasn´t very convincing..
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*Hops from shadows* Not convincing? Neither was your assertion Mullah <img src=smilies/icon_smile_big.gif width=15 height=15 border=0 align=middle> *Hops back into shadows*
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you want to watch that constant hopping, you´ll get dizzy.